Regrets or Remorse...

It's been over a month since I posted anything, and for simple reasons: apart from administrative procedures that are taking ages, there's nothing new to report about my departure.

However, in my head, it's a mess!

Let me explain: I'm really looking forward to this new adventure. Prospects of visiting other countries, even professionally, of living a new experience. My future students will welcome my discipline in a very different way from those I teach here. But I still have this thought in the back of my mind: is this the right choice?

I'm leaving my home, which has taken me a long time to tame and love, my friends, my family, including my aging parents, and above all my children, who are in New York and will be even further away from me. Leaving a relationship in its infancy, what if he was the one? Don't dream, at 18,000 km it's no longer a long-distance relationship... All these questions are on my mind. What if I hate living there? At my age, is that really reasonable? Going off on adventures alone, on the other side of the planet?

Regret or remorse? The dictionary defines regret as: dissatisfaction or sorrow (for having done, for not having done, in the past) and remorse as: painful feeling, accompanied by shame, caused by the awareness of having done wrong.

Which would you be most comfortable living with? I don't think I'll opt for either one all things considered. I'm going to go for it and unfortunately for whoever feels wronged by it, there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm going to live this adventure to the full, trying not to think too much. I'm going to live in the moment at every stage of this adventure, not trying to control the future but embracing every step, every obstacle, every disappointment, every joy, every discovery, every milestone.